Em Oxford, descobriram uma nova partícula elementar!
Foi a notícia que me deram por correio electrónico:
Oxford University researchers have discovered the densest element yet known to science.
SO THIS IS GOVERNMENT AND POLITICIANS
The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons,
88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However,
it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction
with which it comes into contact.
A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction
that would normally take less than a second,
to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years.
It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which
a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since
each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe
that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.
This hypothetical quantity is referred to as a critical morass.
When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium
(symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium,
since it has half as many pillocks but twice as many morons.
